hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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