dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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