So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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