my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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