I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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