Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize