let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
