I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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