And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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