5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
