I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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