I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
