we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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