Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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