drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I take back everything I said about communal showers
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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