Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
