Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
