Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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