I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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