Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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