No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
