i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The best revenge is premature balding
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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