Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
