First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
