You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha