I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
