she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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