Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
