can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
