The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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