If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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