I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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