Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
