I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
