There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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