So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
