i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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