Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
