my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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