i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
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How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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