Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize