I showed him my bush... on skype.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
