im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize