And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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