Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
