Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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