I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
