Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
