break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
