i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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