Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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