I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize