She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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