I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
