hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just found puke in my bra..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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