So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
