I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
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i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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